Everyone knows Santa’s got his trusty reindeer-pulled sleigh, but what if Rudolph and the gang came down with a bad case of food poisoning after their Christmas work do, rendering them unable to fly? Or the sleigh suffered a last-minute malfunction?
Faced with hitting the highway for the most epic road trip ever, Mr Claus would have some serious car shopping to do. What would happen if Santa owned a car and what sort of wheels does a 21st century Santa need? Here are a few ‘Santa-world’ problems he’ll need to consider…
As Santa has to visit the homes of around 526,000,000 children in just one night on Christmas Eve, he’s going to have to achieve some pretty incredible speeds. So what kind of car will give him the best shot at dropping off about 356,000 a minute? It can only be The Hennessey Venom GT, the fastest road car in the world. It can hit speeds of 270.49mph, but Santa will still have to put some of his many lookalikes to use. To do the whole lot himself he’d need to be travelling at about 1,800 miles per second.
Even if some children are only getting satsumas or a piece of coal, Santa’s going to need a lot of boot capacity if he’s going to squeeze in more than 500 million presents.
With this in mind, contenders might include the Mercedes E-Class Estate, which has one of the largest carrying capacities of any estate car, with 695 litres available, the Ford Tourneo Connect, with a boot than can hold up to 1,029 litres, or the Mercedes V-Class, which can hold 1,030 litres of gifts with the elves in the back, or a whopping 4,610 litres if you drop the back seats.
With nearly 200 countries to visit in just one night, Santa certainly does not have time to get lost. A good international GPS is a must, leaving Mr C with several options to consider.
Both TomTom and Garmin have some great Sat Navs that come pre-loaded with maps of the UK and Europe, with others available to download. TomTom, for example, provides maps to over 95 countries worldwide.
Alternatively, working on the assumption that Santa has a smartphone (it is the 21st century after all), he can download one of the many GPS apps on offer. Garmin’s StreetPilot is a popular choice, while Navmii offers free maps to 85 countries.
It’s safe to say that Santa isn’t going to cover the 212,030,000 miles required in one night by playing by the rules, so he’ll want to consider some serious off road action.
The Jeep Wrangler Rubicon Hard Rock Edition features a sway bar disconnect system to provide extra suspension flex on tough trails, the Toyota 4Runner TRD Pro promises a great drive both off and on the road, or the Land Rover Range Rover would see Santa travelling in style. And who wouldn’t love to see Santa tackling snowy spots in a big red Ram Power Wagon?
Santa’s clearly not tight when it comes to money but, with so many miles to cover, he’d be bonkers not to consider his fuel efficiency.
Many of the most economical cars available are also small, but there are some options that could still pack plenty of presents. The Skoda Octavia promises 88.3mpg and has a boot capacity of 590 litres, while the Honda Civic offers 78.5mpg with a boot that will hold 467 litres.
Bearing in mind that the world’s most fuel-efficient car, the Volkswagen XL1, does around 300 miles to the gallon, even if Santa’s super sensible he’ll be looking at fuel costs of over £4m. Let’s hope he’s planning a frugal January…